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John Terry: Where It All Ends….

TheChelseaBlog might be bored with it all now but the stories involving John Terry, Wayne Bridge, Vanessa Perroncel and about half the Premier League at the last count see no sign of slowing up yet, with the Daily Mail seeming particularly enthusiastic in their work at the moment. At some point though (believe it or not), these stories will die down as the rags find themselves a new victim. But where exactly will they all end up?

Well, John Terry is already pretty buggered (no, that’s not another allegation, just an observation). If he puts in outstanding performances in the World Cup – captain-like performances – and England do well, he won’t get the credit for it. If, on the other hand, England don’t do so well, John Terry will almost certainly have the blame laid at his door. So whichever way you look at it he’s well and truly screwed (as if the media hadn’t made that point clear already)! Not to worry though because the future will see him become a reformed character after a life-changing moment where he runs into Avram Grant in a house of ill repute. Three Hail Mary’s, a Lord’s Prayer and months of therapy later, the Chelsea captain will finally put it all behind him.

Wayne Bridge – recently comforted by ex team-mate Ashley Cole’s missus, inspired by his ‘Team Bridge’ cheerleaders, and unable to take part in the World Cup following surgery to remove his foot from John Terry’s arse – will team up with the lovely Cheryl Cole in ‘The Ex-Factor’ – a new reality gameshow where those from the footballing world are given the daunting task of showing they’re whiter than white.

As for Vanessa Perroncel, unable to go to the World Cup as a result of the WAGS’ price on her pretty little head, she manages not to think about her ex’s trading blows in the dressing room by distracting herself wandering up and down Knightsbridge having earned more than enough out of her sex life to buy herself some decent knicker elastic.  Meanwhile, back at the penthouse, the nanny takes care of her six offspring who seem to refer to everyone in a blue shirt as ‘daddy’ (allegedly!)

And they all live happily ever after………….

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