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Chelsea Counting Their Bruises After ‘Friendly’

Comes to something when you can’t even have a friendly without someone trying out their latest martial arts moves on you eh? And yet that seems to have been the case for our reserves last week.

It turns out that what started off as a bit of a friendly kickabout arranged at our training ground Wednesday, turned into a not-so-friendly kickabout literally, with the game abandoned after 35 minutes as players, coaches and officials from the Chelsea reserve team and United Arab Emirates side Al Alhi knocked lumps out of each other.

The fuse seems to have been lit when Chelsea’s left-back Ben Gordon was subjected to a bit of a flying two-footer above the knee and it wasn’t too long before things boiled over, with the ref calling time once the punches started flying about. Straight back to the team bus for our opponents it seems, do not pass GO (or at least do not bother going near the changing room), do not collect £200, just do one!

It’s reported that players including Rhys Taylor, Jeffrey Bruma, Carl Magnay, Gael Kakuta and Jack Cork were on the receiving end of “karate kicks, knee-high tackles and had their hair pulled out and their eyes gouged.” Jeffrey Bruma is also said to have had a couple of Al Alhi players climbing his back at the same time as he was being karate kicked by another and Jack Cork, who was sporting a shiner in Coventry’s game against Swansea was put in a headlock while his face was given a battering whilst poor Gael Kakuta had a couple of fingers rammed in his nostrils.

According to a gobsmacked onlooker “There were people being chased all over the pitch, eyes were being gouged, hair was being pulled out and one of the Al Alhi players shoved his fingers up the nose of Gael Kakuta. Every player was involved but Chelsea didn’t start it.”

The unnamed ref apparently sent a full report to Soho Square – as soon as he’d picked his jaw up off the floor anyway – and the ChelseaTV recording was promptly locked away in a safe.

A Chelsea spokesman came out with the usual cryptic “there was an unfortunate incident”, whilst the FA have confirmed fisticuffs took place, with a Soho Square source stating “the FA supplied the ref. We have received his report and are considering the appropriate action. Chelsea didn’t start it.” The Chelsea treatment room staff meanwhile are negotiating a payrise. 🙂

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