Either Mourinho’s gag is slowly working itself loose or he’s almost served the press ban agreed to along with his Chelsea pay-off. As the seasons around Europe approach their final stages, Mourinho appears to be dusting off his Armani and loosening his vocal cords in preparation for his next challenge. And the challenge? To watch Chelsea in the Champions League final without feeling the slightest bit jealous.
Not that he’d ever admit to such weakness, of course, as in true Jose style he says ‘So what if they win the Champions League? I won it, too! So what if they win the Premier League? I won it, too! I don’t accept such feelings as envy and never rejoice in other people’s failings. Only weak people, only losers, have such feelings.’
Fear not though, before any of us start to worry the Messiah is really a self-centred individual who manipulated us into believing he could care less, he does allow himself some feelings regarding his Stamford Bridge departure – regret! Apparently, he’s taken this opportunity – when we’ve reached the first Champions League final in the club’s history (without him) – to express his regret at not having left Chelsea sooner. And he’s said all that without a hint of sour grapes. In fact even the veiled insult of wanting to kick himself for not leaving us for “one of the greatest clubs in Europe”, is disguised as an act of undying loyalty, with him declaring he did it for us. “I promised the fans that I won’t leave on my own initiative” he says (no doubt with a wry smile), “but I made a mistake and four months later I was fired.”
So having made sure we understand he sacrificed himself so unselfishly, just for us, he says it was a mistake. But from a man who’s psychological skills I always admired, he’s let himself down a bit this time. Because, having seen us blame Roman and his band of merry men for so long, the subtle suggestion now is that those fans he cared so much about helped to bring about his downfall, such was his loyalty towards them. I don’t know why he doesn’t just get up on that cross and be done with it to be honest.
At least he clears up a couple of things though, firstly he was fired and secondly, with him suggesting it’ll be us and not Utd he’ll be cheering on in the final, we know it wasn’t them that offered him a job!